My Mummy says I have to go to OneWayPreSchool and the place is awesome. It’s got these really nice people. Some of them understand me and they’re really cool but there’s these two white people from a place called England who think they’re really cool but I can’t understand them.

They put all these really fun toys around the classroom and then have the audacity to tell me to sit on the carpet and listen to them in a language I don’t understand. I mean do they not know what cool toys there are. I’m wasting my time singing the ABC’s – I could be playing in the doctor surgery role pay area. The other day I actually saved my dollies life-it’s leg was sick so I had to cut it off. I don’t get it though the crazy, scary little one shouted me. Does she not understand I’m training for the rest of my life here. She said the other children wanted to play with the dolly too and now I’ve spoiled it but to be honest I don’t care because that dolly would have died if it wasn’t for me- i’m a lifesaver!

Also, what I really don’t get is how I always have to wear my shoes. I’m inside and they want me to keep my shoes on…..confusing! I take them off because I’m inside like at home and the big, tall, scary man throws my shoes at me and tells me to put them on. I tell him that I’m inside and I don’t need my shoes but he just shouts ‘Speak english at me’ He’s rude.

But what I really hate is; why must I eat so quietly? It is much more fun to throw spaghetti at my friends and flick my mince across the floor. All these teachers do is ruin school. It’d be great without all these rules and things!

Peace out people…

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